I read a post a few minutes ago that inspired me to write this one. I know that every person on this planet has something that they are struggling with. Sometimes I forget that. For a long time I just watched my life pass by. I wasn't working towards a goal or fulfilling a dream. Don't get me wrong; I had plans, dreams, and goals that I set for myself, but I never really cared.
I wish I could say that now I care and am setting my sails in their direction, but I'd be lying to both of us.
I have one major fear in life. To a lot of you it may seem really silly. I am afraid of the quiet. When it's quiet, I am alone with my own thoughts. I am left to analyze my actions and those of others. Mostly in negative ways. It was easy for me to find my own faults and surely if I could find them, sooner or later others would as well. I am my own worst enemy.
I had my world torn apart, and I am learning how to rebuild it. I am learning that not everyone is the same. There are people out there who know what love is and give it freely. I think the hardest thing for me, is learning to trust. I wasn't aware of what the word actually meant, or even what it felt like until recently. It's strange.
I'm sorry if this is a bit of a ramble or a rant, but I know that there are like minded humans out there that feel as alone as I did. I realize that saying I am here for you may be a cliché, but it's the truth. I have been paranoid, self loathing, mad at the world, so close to the edge that I didn't know if I could come back, and I have felt so numb that physical pain was the only way I felt alive.
You are not alone. Not now, not ever.
Later Butterflies,
Skin
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