Sunday, August 23, 2015

Beginners guide to adulthood

 Tonight as I write this it is 4 am; I have to get ready for work at 6. Hooray for insomnia! I realize its been a LONG time since I've posted but, sometimes life throws you curve balls. You never see them coming. I guess that I should explain. I'd like to put out there that I am writing this post because I think there may be others out there that are going through similar situations; not because I want a pity party. I guess I should start from the beginning.
I am adopted, sort of. My parents are biologically my maternal grandparents. They have taken me in and raised me for as long as I can remember. My biological mother was in my life until age 17(I'm 21). I never called her mom but she was a constant. She lived with us. She decided 4 years ago that she was ready to move on with her life. I was 6 months away from graduating high school. She missed out on my senior year. I watched at my friends and family rallied around me trying to heal the hurt. My mother and I weren't extremely close, but being second best hurts. I felt unloved and unwanted. I walked around just waiting for someone else to walk out of my life. I call those the dark days.  
At the beginning of the year I was convinced to try and work things out with my biological mother. I was told that she wanted to come home and she wanted a relationship with me. A month ago she came to stay at my parents house, where I live, for a week. My mom, sister, and myself piled in my car and drove 5 hours to get her. The car ride back was extremely awkward, but my sister helped me lighten the mood. We listened to the Sam Hunt CD for a solid 2 and a half hours, so when I pulled over on the side of the road to take a picture with a sign, it was no shock to anyone. Its terrible quality, but I'll stick it in anyway.
The week she stayed was good and I thought things were working themselves out. I was wrong. The entire week my biological mother told us that she was moving back with or without her partner (I just don't know what to call him). When she got home to him, she decided that she no longer wanted that even though we were told he made her miserable. Again, she chose him over me. I felt the sting all over again, but this time it felt different. I was expecting her to make the decision she did; and this time I'm so much more comfortable with the people around me. They had to earn back the trust I lost in everyone and I love them even more for not giving up on me.
Flash forward a week and I open my laptop to get a post up. I had the images for a few post ideas put together before the visit and was just going to write them after. Bad idea; my laptop was now infected with cryptowall 3.0. I was so mad. No one had used the darn thing for a couple of weeks and it did not have the virus before hand. After a VERY long night of trying to safe everything. My friend and I realized there was just no saving anything. I am just now getting back to a computer to get things together.
I am going to try my very best to post twice a week. I started school this week. It is a phlebotomy course. I am really excited for this. It has only been a week and so far, I really like it. One of the other students accidently popped a tourniquet in her face. She wasn't hurt, but we all had a good laugh with her. Now, please enjoy a picture of a baby tree frog that was on my door when I was going to get something from my car.
 Later butterflies!

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